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Category

 Political

Published

 February, 2008

Synopsis

 A Blow-by-blow Look at the Democratic Race for President

Down Goes Hillary, Down Goes Hillary
By Al Owens

If you’re a boxing fan, I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase “styles make fights.” If you’re not a boxing fan, that really means that the best heavyweight fights pit hulking punchers against fleet footed, and jabbing boxers. (Stay with me on this one. It’s not really about boxing)

On October 30th, 1974 in Kinshasa, Zaire, a behemoth named George Foreman faced the sleek and the charismatic underdog Muhammad Ali. Ali toppled Foreman in the 8th with a barrage heard ‘round the sports world.

It had been a fight that epitomized what that phrase “styles make fights” is all about.

The Democrats are now putting on a heavyweight fight just like the one in 1974.

In this corner, there’s the heavy hitter, Hillary Clinton. In the other corner, there’s the fleet of foot, Barack Obama. Let’s get ready to rum-BBBBBBBBBL.
There’s the bell for the opening round. Obama comes out and immediately pops Clinton with an Iowa.

Clinton, unfazed, counters with an overhand New Hampshire, and a straight Nevada caucus.

They’re in a clinch. Clinton’s ring man, some guy named Bill Clinton, complains to the referee (John Q. Public) that Obama isn’t playing fair. “This is the biggest joke I’ve ever seen,” he screams.

Meanwhile, Obama’s fans shoot back that Clinton’s people are throwing low blows.
The two fighters stand toe-to-toe in the middle of the ring and Obama lands a solid South Carolina to Clinton’s solar plexus. That’s the end of round one.
At the bell for round two, Clinton is cautioned for throwing two questionable shots in Obama’s direction. She’d hit him with a Michigan and a Florida. The ringside judges claim those punches don’t count.

Unfazed by the warnings, Clinton tags Obama with a straight Nevada shot.

That’s the end of round two.

The two fighters walk briskly back to their respective corners as the public address announcer announces that John McCain (himself a heavyweight) is in attendance - and that he’ll take on the winner of this fight.

The ringside pundits are buzzing as the bell for round three is sounded.

Clinton comes out and raises her hands as she encourages her fans to chant “On day one. On day one.”

Not to be outdone, Obama makes an effort to drown out Clinton’s fans, with his own chant, “Yes we can. Yes we can.”

Political boxing aficionados haven’t seen a display like this since Lincoln met Douglas in that legendary “Thrilla in Illinois.”

Midway through round three, there’s a flurry from both Clinton and Obama, with Clinton hitting Obama with a hard combination of California, New York and
Massachusetts. Obama is on the ropes, but he fights his way back into the center of the ring while peppering Clinton with a Georgia, Alabama, Missouri, Idaho, Washington, and Kansas. And as he steps back to take a look at his handiwork, he pops Clinton with a quick Virgin Islands.

Then Obama manages to push Clinton into his own corner with an Illinois uppercut.

The crowd, as they say, is going wild. The bell sounds to end round three with both fighters standing in the center of the ring, touching gloves and showing they respect the other’s fire power.

For the record, neither fighter is willing to merely do the “rope-a-dope” used by Muhammad Ali in that classic fight with George Foreman. That’s when Ali stood along the ropes while Foreman exhausted himself by trying to hurt Ali. By round 8, Ali saw an opening, and he simply dropped Foreman, because he’d simply run out of energy.

In this Democratic match, Obama and Clinton have seen that the “rope-a-dope” tried in futility by Rudy Giuliani, just He’d waited, and waited, and waited, but there’d been no opening. By the time he’d decided to “un-rope-a-dope” himself – he was the one with little energy and he fell to the canvas without throwing a single punch.

Both Clinton and Obama are much smarter than that. They’re both giving it all they’ve got.

Well, there’s the bell for round four. Obama, sensing he can hit Clinton at will, staggers her with powerful Maryland, Virginia and Washington D.C. shots.

Down goes Hillary. Down goes Hillary. But she’s battle tested, and she gets off the canvas at the count of one.

Her knees are a bit wobbly as she staggers to Wisconsin, while the pundits are now predicting she’ll need to throw devastating Texas, Ohio and Pennsylvania punches in order to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

That’s the end of round 4, with the some pundits already calling this the “Fight of the Century.”

That remains to be seen.