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 November, 2008


 With Republican Friends Like These...

With Friends Like These…
By Al Owens

I suspect the Pittsburgh Steelers wouldn’t win many games if every time Ben Roethlisberger dropped back to pass, Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes turned around and gang tackled him. The mere image of such repeated self-brutalizations are, if sad, still humorous.

But not nearly as funny as watching these Republicans gang tackle each other of late.

The tears had hardly dried from the collective Republican hanky before Team McCain began dousing blame all over Sarah the Candidate.
That, I thought at the time, had been a rather cheesy way to deflect pointed fingers away from their own inept presidential campaign. My empathy for Sarah Palin was sincere, if only temporary. Instead of returning to Alaska, shooting a moose or two, exhibiting her gubernatorial talents and showing her friends and neighbors slide shows of her extended trip to the lower 48, she showed everybody exactly why McCain’s insiders whispered she’d been nothing more than Sarah the Diva.

Soon, televisions everywhere flickered with Palin’s every not guilty plea.

She hadn’t bought cargo planes full of clothes. She hadn’t claimed Africa was a country. She’d gotten along swell with John McCain. She could make a mean moose soufflé’.

It became a tour de force in camp self-promotion not unlike that for the latest Bond flick.
Yet, Palin was just gettin’ started. There was that Republican Governor’s convention where she became the very first Ex-Vice-Presidential candidate in American history to give stump speeches, long after their campaign had ended.

She’s a dynamo, you know.

So Republicans needed something to get those klieg lights off her and onto themselves.
They’ve decided to gang tackle each other. This, folks, is more fun than watching a half dozen red states turn blue.

While the president-elect is busily mending political fences, Republicans are publically settling old scores.

On a week when Barack Obama offered to: make his old nemesis Hillary Clinton the head of his Department of State; send his blessings to faux-Democrat Joe (the Plunderer) Lieberman; smoke the political peace pipe with John McCain – Republicans have trained their cheap shots on each other.
Ironically, on the very day Obama and McCain formed their new alliance - the Reverend, ex-governor, and failed presidential aspirant - Mike Huckabee released his new book Do the Right Thing.

Oh, it’s a nasty bit of business that’s destined to provide belly-laughs for Democrats for years to come.
Huckabee’s tome casts a few choice upper cuts in the direction of his fellow ex-failed presidential opponents Mitt Romney and Fred Thompson.

After all, if Republicans can’t figure out ways to beat Democrats, they may as well beat-up each other.

Romney’s indiscretions, wrote Huckabee, were legion during their run for the White House.
It’s obvious these two fellows aren’t planning a campaign reunion tour. Especially since, after Huckabee won the Iowa caucuses, Romney never even showed the good will to offer him the traditional congratulatory at-a-boy.

“That call from Romney never came, which we took as a sign of total disrespect,” Huckabee wrote.

Shame on Mitt. Huckabee may have even overlooked Romney’s lapse in phone etiquette if it hadn’t been for the claim that Romney had been the Master of the Flip-Flop – and with an expedient eye on the presidency.

Huckabee also writes that Romney falsely tailored his campaign by revising his stands on key issues.

He also let loose with a salvo at old Fred Thompson.
You remember Fred, don’t you? He’s the guy some Republicans claimed was Ronald Reagan-like, until he appeared at a couple Republican debates without his No-Doze.

Somnambulism never works when running for president.

Huckabee knew that. Thompson, according to him, “never did grasp the dynamics of the race or the country.”

Personally, I’d say that statement is true of most Republicans. Huckabee just stopped at Fred Thompson.
Then there’s Nebraska Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel. He’s beating up on none other than Rush Limbaugh.
Hagel sarcastically claimed Limbaugh should run for office himself, because rightwing entertainers like him “make fools of everybody but they don’t have any answers.”

That, by the way, is another apt description of Republicans.

Edward A. Owens of Uniontown is Webmaster of “Red Raider Nation: Where Champions Live.” E-mail him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net