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Let’s all Deconstruct History

By Al Owens
Christopher Columbus never set foot in what is now known as the United States. Not only that, he didn’t even get close to the mainland of North or South America in 1492. Not only that, he was four hundred years late in laying claim to discovering the New World. (He went to his grave thinking Cuba was part of Asia, by the way). It seems it wasn’t until 1498 that Columbus landed in South America. Yet there are people alive today who’d swear he walked along 42nd Street in New York City.

But that’s what happens when you put any history under a microscope. You can deconstruct it until it really doesn’t reflect anything recognizable to most of us. Erik the Red, for the record, was the Viking credited with reaching the New World first. He found Newfoundland in 982 A.D. – hundreds of years before Columbus went looking for Sushi and returned to Europe with Enchiladas!

Even our National Anthem seems a bit odd when you take a close look at it. In one way, it’s a tribute to plain old faulty bomb making. Keep in mind that in 1814 Francis Scott Key waited outside of Fort McHenry for a battle to end so he could go inside on legal business. He saw those “bombs bursting in air”, as he sat all night. In those days, the fuses were cut so that bombs would go off as they hit their targets. Improperly cut fuses caused them to go off at the wrong time – in midair. So that’s the origin of the line “bursting in air”. All of that for a poem, that would later be added to an English funeral tune and called The Star Spangled Banner. Personally, I like America the Beautiful a lot more. It doesn’t have any bombs in it.

Let’s look at Jesus. Most of the artistic works that depict him show a Caucasian with long flowing hair. (Sometimes they make him look like the perfect Aryan) Yet the Bible and Biblical Scholars disagree. Some claim he would have a broad face, short curly hair and dark skin. I’ve even read that he may have only been 5’1” tall and only weighed about 120 pounds. But all of that is a deconstruction of what is commonly believed.

I’ve deconstructed all of this so show you how easy it can be to turn history upside-down to make a point. Ann Coulter’s latest deconstruction does just that. First, I really don’t understand why somebody would devote an entire column to share their disapproval of a holiday – and President Bush’s acknowledgement of it. She printed her first disapproving words about Kwanzaa six years ago. She must have been so empty of holiday cheer this year, she’s dusted off her old anti-Kwanzaa tirade and added some updated “facts” to give it the fresh feel of a tongue lashing

For starters, she keeps referring to Kwanzaa as a made up holiday. Most holidays are made up. Many of the people who celebrate July the Fourth have no idea why we celebrate it. They just take the day off and shoot off fireworks. Somebody must have said, “Hey! Let’s make the fourth day of July and annual holiday”. But that’s ok.
She also claims, and wrongly, that the Symbionese Liberation Army (That group of so-called revolutionaries that kidnapped Patty Hearst, until she became one of them) is the “intellectual sibling” of Kwanzaa. To be honest, the SLA adopted the Seven Principals of Kwanzaa – but so what? Those seven principals include: Unity, Self-Determination, Collective Work and Responsibility, Cooperative Economics, Purpose, Creativity, and Faith. Would Ann Coulter write a column about Donald Duck if she found out the SLA had gone to a Disney movie?

All of this is rather silly. Kwanzaa was never designed as some counter Christmas holiday. It’s supposed to be a year end celebration that brings about the uplifting elements of being African American. No matter who devised the holiday, no matter who celebrates it, or no matter who acknowledges it – Ann Coulter’s attempts to deconstruct it can’t change that.