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 Ann Coulter Reply

Published

 February, 2007

Synopsis

 Ann Coulter - Gore wins Oscar, Coulter pouts

And the Oscar Went to…

By Al Owens
I knew as soon as Al Gore stepped on stage the night of the Academy Awards, what I’d be writing about today. It doesn’t matter that he only held the Oscar. He appeared with it in public. That set off nationwide rightwing shockwaves. The movie he inspired and appeared in, An Inconvenient Truth, had won the Oscar for best feature documentary and Al Gore had taken a verbal victory lap with it in his hand on international TV. The film’s producer and director, Davis Guggenheim, took the statue home. Gore, if you let the far-right explain it, went home to a house that burns enough kilo-watts in one night to have lit Yankee Stadium since it opened!

I’ve learned a lot about the predictability of conservative America these past few months. During lead up to the November Elections, Ann Coulter claimed the Democratic Party is going the way of the Whigs. That was only because everybody taking a poll back then was predicting the Republicans were about to lose the House of Representatives, and possibly control of the entire Congress.

Right after that prediction became reality, Coulter sprung into action as the lone voice outside of mental institutions that claimed the victory wasn’t really a victory. She’d crunched the numbers and concluded that the Republicans didn’t lose. They won all those races, just with fewer votes!

When Nancy Pelosi became the third most powerful person in the U.S. Government as the first female Speaker of the House in U.S. history – Coulter asked what all the fuss was about. Pelosi’s accomplishment was just some kind of fabrication of the “liberal” media, she pronounced. And that she doesn’t even deserve a question on Jeopardy – let alone a paragraph or two in a history book.

Barack Obama gives a powerful presidential campaign announcement. Coulter implies he’s a lousy speaker. There’s a pattern here. It’s about how Democrats should never, ever do anything the public appreciates, unless they want to face the wrath of Coulter.

Al Gore gets his night in the sun. (I love the irony of that statement, don’t you?) and every liberal everywhere, according to Ann Coulter, wants us all to die. “Liberals want mass starvation and human devastation”, she writes. I’m a liberal. I don’t want anybody to starve or anybody to become devastated. Maybe I didn’t read the memo.

Oh! I get it. She was kidding when she said that. I’m just not familiar with humor that should come with an owner’s manual.

None of this has anything to do with the issue of global warming. (You’ll notice she artfully places quotation marks around that phrase) Like if I’d put quotations marks around the phrase “victory in Iraq”, because I don’t believe such a thing is possible. That was only an example folks.

“There are more reputable scientists defending astrology than defending global warming”, she asserts. Oh! So those 2000 scientists who comprise the United Nations’ Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change aren’t reputable? You know. The ones from 154 countries who released that report last month that says there is global warming, and that human activity (Ann Coulter’s hot air, by example) is causing it.

Of course since the release of that report it’s been discovered that a think tank largely funded by our friends at Exxon-Mobile (with ties to the Bush administration) has offered to pay scientists 10 thousand dollars (plus expenses) to call the findings in it hogwash. It looks like Exxon-Mobile takes that stuff about “climate change” and “global warming” seriously too.

I’m looking for Ann Coulter’s announcement that she’s become an environmental scientist – and that she’s using her newfound wealth to put a down payment on a new personality. That was a joke. If she can joke, I can joke. Except I’d never joke about things like, “Global warming is the left’s rage against humanity”, the way she does.

I would, however, imply that conservatives do have a thing about getting into a rage. It only took them about 24 hours to leap all over Al Gore, after he walked off that stage on Oscar night. They talked about the hypocrisy of Gore running around the country, lecturing people about energy use, when he uses so much of it himself. That’s a fair argument.

But conservatives could never accept what a serious hypocrisy, one that leads to the loss of life and a nation’s wealth, really looks like. A presidential candidate, who claims in 2000 to decry nation building, is feverishly building two nations (Afghanistan and Iraq) in 2007.
True hypocrisy is when you run for office claiming to be for the sanctity of life. You drop everything to run back to Washington, from wherever you are, to sign a bill to save the life of one person (Terri Schiavo). But when tens of thousands of people in New Orleans are forced from their living rooms onto their roof tops, and thousands of them drown – you take your time getting to the source of the problem.

Arch-Conservatives explained away all of those rather curious failures of their own to live up to their political sermons. Instead they’re trying to preach about how some guy who won an award is leading the charge to end mankind as we know it.

In case you didn’t know it, Gore has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. If he wins that, they’ll claim liberals invented cancer!