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 Ann Coulter Reply

Published

 November, 2006

Synopsis

 Ann Coulter - Republic of Myopia's only resident

Republicans Need a Big Ole Hug

By Al Owens
Times are tough for Republicans. They can’t seem to find people to attack these days, and when they do nobody believes them. I’m going to propose something that may shock some of you. I think we should all find at least one Republican and give them a hug. They need it.

Last week I saw an interview with a couple of neo-cons that, for me, proved their hug-ability. (neo-cons are people who like to start wars, without having to fight them and use the word liberal as if it were a cuss word) On this day, however, they weren’t taking aim at liberals – they were busily announcing who should be blamed for the mess the Republican Party has gotten itself into – mainly Republicans.

Michael Rubin of the conservative think tank The American Enterprise Institute was eager to tell CNN’s Wolf Blitzer the blame for the problems in Iraq’s post-Shock and Awe period rests on the broad shoulders of the Bush Administration. (And Iran of course) Iran gets blamed for a lot of stuff these days. The same American Enterprise Institute that has more than two dozen of its former members who’ve become Bush Administration policy makers.

Another neo-con named names. He blamed Condoleezza Rice for whispering sweet National Security nothings in the President’s ear that eventually led to the U.S. military occupation that’s currently caught in a civil war. According to former Bush speechwriter (and neo-con) David Frum, “There was a decision that was made, not to have an Iraqi provisional government. “That came about because the Bush Administration fought itself to a stand-still.” Translation: Rice’s whispers carried far more weight than common sense!

Oh, I just wanted to hug those neo-cons as they wrung their hands on national TV. Kenneth Adelman, a former Assistant Defense Secretary nearly had me in tears when Wolf Blitzer read a quote he’d written about the incompetence of the President’s national security team. “They turned out to be the most incompetent teams in the post-war era. “Not only did each of them, individually, have enormous flaws, but together they were deadly, dysfunctional.” With friends like these…

Yet there are still those right-wingers who’re trying to convince the American public that striking out at anybody except themselves is still worthy of a lot of attention. Ann Coulter, who’s properly a little upset right now that Michael Richards is still funnier than her, wrote a recent column that further proves Republicans are in need of a nationwide hug.

Coulter wants everybody to know that those Muslims who got bounced from a domestic flight last week had it coming to them. After all they’d been praying just before they got on that flight. (they were probably praying not to have to sit next to people like Ann Coulter) Those Muslims are now calling for other people of the religion to boycott U.S. Airways for what they think are the indignities paid to them.

Coulter claims U.S. Airways is now her “official” airline. I guess when she flies home to her homeland of Myopia, (Population 1; Altitude: beneath contempt)
they’ll give her an extra bag of peanuts. Ms. Coulter is forever separating herself from anybody who isn’t just, well, Ann Coulter. The second sentence of that column says it all. “If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether”.

Give this lady a hug. She’s not even in step with the rest of her defeated neo-cons. She’s out there on her own very special limb, sending signals that we should all free ourselves of any group of people that had members who plotted murder. We’d really need to do some serious hiding to avoid 1.7 billion Muslims worldwide, but Coulter says a self-enforced boycott of U.S. airlines is a step in the right direction. Before you offer that hug to Ann Coulter, remind her that no religion on earth has existed without some faction of it killing large numbers of people.

That’s why she can feel safe, but only in the Republic of Myopia!