I Lost My Winter!
By Al Owens
PART ONE
I heard a bird this morning. I can’t speak bird, but I think he (or she) was
telling me they were confused.
It’s March! So a 71 degree day feels like a heat wave. Right now, birds should
be taking in spring training down there in Bradenton, Florida. Instead that bird
is up here in Pennsylvania trying to find a bird bath.
I’m not complaining. I don’t mind birds (as long as they don’t try to give me
bird flu) and I certainly don’t demure from temperatures in the low 70’s.
This morning, I went outside and cleared away the rest of the leaves I didn’t
clear away last fall. This afternoon, I flung open the windows and forgot
winter. Well, I really didn’t forget winter. It’s still winter, but for the time
being I’m contemplating watering the grass – even if that water might freeze by
midnight.
Look, we’ve all suffered the embarrassment of our car doors freezing shut – only
a couple of weeks ago. Back then, I thought I’d never get a chance again to ride
around with my windows at half mast. Winter does that kind of thing to you, but
the hint of spring does much better stuff.
I’m ready to go outside and grill me up a big fat steak. I want to taunt that
bird I heard this morning. I want to tell the neighborhood that the smell of
burning briquettes means freedom.
Freedom is when you don’t have to make a mad dash for your car, before the
teardrops freeze your eyelids shut. Freedom means not having to close your front
door and hope the wind doesn’t come in the house with you. Freedom means your
heat bill doesn’t make you contemplate panhandling to pay it.
Ah, I’ve got an urge to make friends with that bird I heard this morning. I just
may run out this evening and buy me a nice bag of grass seed – to give it
something on which to munch. I’d normally chase away the birds, but it’s been so
long since it’s been warm enough to watch one, I just may feed it by hand.
I can feel my hands right now. They froze around about November and I’m starting
to get some feeling back in them today.
Everything seems to be on a steady thaw. There are some familiar fragrances I
know I haven’t smelled since October – and I wonder why the neighbor decided to
walk their dog on our lawn. Oh, I don’t care! We’re rounding the corner to
spring. I’ll be glad just to speak to my neighbors for the first time in months
without complaining about how cold it is.
One neighbor has been standing out in front of his house since December. I think
his feet got frozen to the sidewalk. He just walked inside. I sure hope his wife
and kids remember him. That’s what early spring means to me. We’re reacquainted
with things!
Soon, I’ll be getting my first whiff of blossoms and freshly cut grass. Oh how I
miss those smells. Soon, I’ll see the kids outside riding their bikes up and
down the street. And oh how I miss those sights.
Spring is tailor made for your senses. It’s funny how the constant pale skies
turn so wonderfully blue this time of year. The brown grass will turn green.
Brightly colored flowers will bloom, and even our wardrobes will shine back at
the sun! No more of those dark overcoats and gloves, we’re heading into the
pastel season.
PART TWO
I wrote that yesterday. Today it’s overcast and damp. It’s down in the 50’s (it
feels like the 30's to me) and I’ve already forgotten what spring feels like. I
hear it could snow over the weekend. I wonder where my new friend, that bird, is
today. I hope it didn’t decide to fly back south – thinking we’ve already had
our summer!
Humor Columns
