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 Ann Coulter Reply


 October, 2007


 Ann Coulter - The Republicans Circular Firing Squad

The Republican’s Circular Firing Squad

By Al Owens
Bill Clinton hasn’t run for office in 11 years, yet some Republicans are still campaigning against him. Why else would Ann Coulter mention Clinton’s name 16 times in this week’s column?

I’m not talking about Hillary Clinton, who happens to be running for president, but Bill, whom without the repeal of the 22nd Amendment - can’t even run for president.

Coulter makes liberal use of Clinton’s name as a means of taking umbrage with two Republican presidential candidates who don’t happen to hate him. Her hostility isn’t a good sign – unless you’re a Democrat.

Fred Thompson’s fall from (Ann Coulter’s) grace is the direct result of his split vote during the impeachment of Coulter’s least favorite person on earth. As a U.S. Senator he voted yes on one article, no on the other. He sealed his fate, by not voting yes a half dozen times on both articles.

Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee had the misfortune of being born in the same small town as Bill Clinton (Hope, Arkansas). That, in itself, sent Ann Coulter to Google Maps to make sure they weren’t born on the same street.

She’s beside herself because the two homeys happened to join forces a few years ago in the interest of curbing childhood obesity. (If you’ve ever seen Ann Coulter, you can understand why obesity may not be of much concern to her. If you paid any attention to that presidential veto of the SCHIP bill last week, you may think children aren’t of much concern to most Republicans either.)

Huckabee must have sent Coulter to a therapist when he once told a reporter that, “People who are unhealthy don’t care whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican. They wanna know, ‘Is there any hope and help for me?’”

I don’t mind the fact that some Republicans are less than enamored with their own presidential candidates. I think it’s humorous that those antipathetic Republicans are finally instep with the rest of the American public about something. It’s such a rare thing to behold.

It’s refreshing when Democrats don’t have to spend much time and money trying to peel off the opposition, because the opposition is peeling its own self off. (Or something like that)

James Dobson is another peeler. He’s the conservative religious leader who’s stated that if Rudy Giuliani gets his party’s nomination, he could look to a third party candidate who shares his views on abortions and civil unions for homosexuals. Dobson also isn’t happy about Giuliani’s two divorces.

Too bad Newt Gingrich, who’s posted the same number of divorces, has decided not to run. Dobson could have complained about him too.

There’s no use for the candidates to take issue with each other, if their mouthpieces are doing it for them.

Oh, there’s the occasional faux pas that one Republican candidate makes, that can be attacked by another Republican candidate.

Mitt Romney’s hilarious response to a hypothetical question about taking military action against Iran at the candidate’s debate the other night – was a nice juicy opening for Giuliani.

Romney had been asked about going to congress before attacking Iran. Romney replied, “You sit down with your attorneys and they tell you what you have to do.”

The next day, Giuliani, as if he was eagerly raising his hand because he knew the student before him got the teacher’s question wrong, called that statement a “big mistake.”

I’m assuming Giuliani would first find a television camera, then get a little face time before he’d call his family photographer, who would take a nice portrait of him talking to his attorneys. In other words, he’d resort to form.

I’m raising my hand right now. Teacher, the correct answer is - go to the U.S. Congress and try to get a declaration of war.

As it stands today, the Republicans can ill-afford to be too harsh on each other, if they’d like to keep the White House. Not that I’d like to offer advice on the subject, but none of the Republican presidential candidates seem to be stirring a lot of interest on their own.

All they seem to have going for them are their Hillary Clinton warnings. Between Giuliani and Romney the other night, they mentioned her name a dozen times. I don’t know why they just don’t scream “Code Hillary,” from time-to-time and leave it at that.

I have noticed one thing, when the Republicans do appear side-by-side it is worth noting they do resemble a group of pall bearers. Aside from Giuliani, Romney, Huckabee and Ron Paul – the others seem virtually indistinguishable from each other. You do have to admit they simply look and sound alike.

Well, maybe I can exclude Fred Thompson from that bunch. Although he looks like Alf, and he sounds like Mr. Ed.

I guess I really shouldn’t cast too many aspersions on the Republicans - especially since they seem to be doing that so well at that all by themselves.