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 May, 2009


 Continued Republican Silliness and Rhetoric

This Week in Republican-Speak

A recent Washington Post/ABC News poll reveals that only 21% of America’s voters indentify themselves as Republicans.

Those who do admit it, I suppose, do it and then duck. I’ve contacted the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to see if the North American Republican (the Elephas americanus republicanus) can be placed on its endangered species list. It’s under consideration.

The Republican Party’s steady march toward extinction appears to be self-inflicted.
Just about everyday some right-winger makes a ham-fisted attempt to enliven the Republican “base” by substituting hilariously inept rhetoric for serious discussions of the issues.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) is now the best argument for switching party affiliations, that is, if you’re currently a Republican.

During the recent budget battles she announced she’s, “not taken earmarks in the last three years that I have been in Congress because the system is so corrupt.”

She’d not only taken earmarks, but she’d taken more ($3,767,600 of them) than the average for the entire Minnesota delegation ($2.1 million).

But Bachmann scored a perfect 100 on her gaffe-o-meter when she attempted to fire another political haymaker that pitifully backfired on the, otherwise, non-political issue of the swine flu. “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970's when the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama. I just say it's an interesting coincidence,” Bachmann assessed.

Problem is, the last time there was a swine flu outbreak, a Republican, Gerald Ford, was really the president.
Using “Bachmann’s logic” (two words that don’t seem to easily fit side-by-side) SARS, bird flu, AIDS and even Legionnaires’ disease were discovered during Republican administrations. By the way, the polio vaccine was developed during the presidency (Harry Truman’s) of a Democrat.
Don’t tell Bachmann that. She’ll claim the polio vaccine actually caused polio.

Another Republican Congresswoman stood on the floor of the U.S. House and conjured up another bizarre conclusion.

Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) took issue with the current hate crimes bill in congress. It was named after Matthew Shepard, a gay male, who’d been beaten to death by two men in 1998. The murder was clearly a hate crime, but not to Foxx.

“The hate crimes bill was named for him, but it's, it's really a hoax, that continues to be used as an excuse for passing these bills," Foxx claimed.
Foxx was using erroneous information that had been contained in a news report that was later debunked.

Foxx apologized (half-heartedly) the next day.

Then there’s Newt Gingrich, who’s never at a loss for hyperbole. He claims President Obama, “wants to get up in the morning and punish Americans.” That makes perfect sense, except for the words part.

While on the subject of punishment, Rush Limbaugh is the leader of the right-wing pundits who don’t really believe waterboarding is anything more than a coerced sitz bath.

Detainee Khalid Sheikh Muhammad was waterboarded 183 times - or an average of six times a day.
Limbaugh’s response? “If somebody can be water-tortured six times a day, then it isn't torture. Can we just establish that?”

No we can’t. Waterboarding, according to the Geneva Conventions, is torture.

Rival provocateur Ann Coulter had her work cut out for her. She had to figure out a way to out sleaze Limbaugh’s assertions. Here it is: “Nothing we do is in the same universe as torture,” she declared. Nothing Coulter says is in the same universe as decent human beings.

Ultra-conservative talk show hosts Michael Savage and Neal Boortz both know the true source of swine flu. To them, it’s the result of “bio-terrorism” sent here by way of Mexicans.

Yet there’s always Fox News - the headquarters of rightwing lunacy.
Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade, while feverishly defending the use of waterboarding, allowed as to John McCain’s disqualification as an authority on torture.

McCain has repeatedly called waterboarding torture. So Kilmeade claims McCain, “Should not be allowed to talk on torture, because he was tortured.”

Anything to make a point, even if it makes absolutely no sense, I guess.

Edward A. Owens of Uniontown is Webmaster of “Red Raider Nation: Where Champions Live.” E-mail him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net