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The Born Conspiracy

In August of 1961, Barack Obama’s family devised a scheme. They contacted the newspaper known as the Honolulu Advertiser and concocted a story about a baby that’d been born on August 4th.

The birth notice appeared on page B-6 and it read, “Mr. and Mrs. Barack H. Obama, 6085 Kalanianaole Hwy.,son, Aug. 4.” I can understand why the Obama’s came lied. They’d both read Article II, Section I of the U.S. Constitution (about the qualifications for U.S. president), and they were shocked - and in need of a cover story.

They were convinced, 48 years ago, their little mixed-race son would grow-up and run for president.

They had to rush from whatever terrorist, socialist, communist, Arab, Muslim (Pick one – or even two if it suits you) country, plant their kid in Hawaii and fashion a phony a birth notice.

One that would allow them to claim that, while their son wasn’t really born in the United States, would fool the 2008 electorate into believing he was.

That’s what these “Birthers” are claiming – I think.

There’s a microfilmed archive of that Honolulu newspaper. It reads exactly the way it appears here. I’ve seen it.
Wingnuts, “Birthers” and rightwingers who still can’t get over the fact that Barack Obama won the presidency fair-and-square are still questioning his birthplace and his eligibility to be president.

I feel sorry for them. A copy of his birth certificate was released by Hawaii’s Department of Health last October.

The director of that department confirmed the document is legitimate. A copy of it is readily available online.

Yet, that hasn’t stopped crackpots and their enablers – the Republican Party – from firing up their conspiracy machines.

Last fall there was the bogus claim that Obama is an Arab. That got a national belly-laugh when Gayle Quinnell of Shakopee, Minn. stood up at a John McCain rally and said of Obama, “He’s an Arab.”

McCain, grabbed the microphone from her and explained, “He’s not, mam. He’s a decent, family man…” TRANSLATION: If you’re an Arab, you certainly can’t be a decent, family man.

Later, during an interview, the 75 year-old grandmother clung fast to her notion that Barack Obama is some kind of secret Arab, Muslim or something Americans don’t like.

She claimed she’d gone to the library and found lots of information (three pages worth) about Obama.

Well, despite the Gayle Quinnells of the world, Obama still became president.

So, I’d assume, Quinnell has joined the “Birther” movement.

In fact, there’s even a proposed piece of legislation that would mandate that future presidential candidates (read Obama in 2012) would produce original birth certificates.

One of the bill’s co-sponsors – Rep. John Campbell (R-Ca) – recently appeared on MSNBC with Chris Matthews, and he had a tough time denying that his bill isn’t designed to give a nod to the increasingly silly “Birther” cottage industry.

Much of it can be attributed to rightwinger Alan Keyes.

He was the guy who moved to Illinois, for the express purpose of winning a Republican Senatorial seat in 2004. Keyes was roundly defeated by that supposed foreigner named Barack Obama.

It’s no wonder Keyes is at the forefront of a movement to delegitimize Obama. He he’s just another conservative who can’t face defeat.

The “Birther” movement reached an all-time low at a recent town hall meeting conducted by Rep. Mike Castle (R-Del).

Some woman leaped to her feet and bellowed that Obama isn’t an American citizen.
She held up her supposedly legitimate birth certificate, and allowed as to her true American pedigree because her father had been a WWII veteran and a member of America’s “greatest generation.”

Questions about Obama’s birth pace aside, there’s never been any questions about his grandparents.
That “Birther” ignored the fact that both his grandfather, and great-uncle had fought in WWII too. That his great-uncle, Ralph Dunham, had even been among the brave Americans who’d stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day.

But all of this is Barack Obama’s fault.

He should’ve looked more like his mother than his father, and none of these silly questions would attract any interest.

Edward A. Owens of Uniontown is Webmaster of “Red Raider Nation: Where Champions Live.” E-mail him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net