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 Ann Coulter Reply

Published

 October, 2006

Synopsis

 Ann Coulter - Coulter plays the Democratic blame game again

When You’re Wrong – Attack!

By Al Owens
I think the Pittsburgh Steelers can learn a lot by watching Conservatives these days! I mean, somehow they’ve learned the fine art of playing offense and defense at the same time.

Let’s take a close look at the latest bombshells thrown by the right. Habeas corpus, to many Americans, has something to do with dead bodies. It’s a term that’s as curious to them, as, say, the word Constitution seems to be to George W. Bush!

But there’s nothing mysterious about habeas corpus at all. It’s sewn into the very fabric of the US Constitution, and it stands as a buffer between our government and people being hauled off to prison without a trial. When a person is charged with a crime, with a writ of habeas corpus in hand, they can petition the courts to secure legal representation, demand a trial and see the evidence the state claims it has against them.

It’s one of those things we have that many uncivilized countries, like England (I’m kidding) didn’t permit when the King of England was in charge of things over there.

Well the other day, many constitutional scholars claim, Bush tended to tear up the constitution and habeas corpus with one swipe of his pen. He signed into law The Military Commissions Act of 2006. Now you park too long at a parking meter and a federal judge can throw you in jail for the rest of your natural born life! That’s if the President of the United States determines you’re an “unlawful enemy combatant”. That can’t happen you say? Well that’s the kind of thing that happened to 120,000 Japanese-Americans during World War II, when they were thrown into interment camps for no better reason than the word that appeared before the hyphen in Japanese-American. They weren’t here unlawfully, they weren’t our enemies and they certainly weren’t combatants. They just, according to the US government, looked the part.

While those constitutional scholars are betting that this new law won’t pass Supreme Court muster, conservatives are already lining up to play the best defense they can. They’re attacking. And they’re using the best tool available to them. They’re invoking the words Bill Clinton. This stuff is getting really silly folks! Here’s how.

One of the components of the new law deals with torture. It can’t be used anymore. That’s just as long as somebody doesn’t call the method of interrogation of detainees “extreme”. I suppose, then, that would prevent interrogators from forcing the most severe forms of torture, like reading an Ann Coulter book! But it still gives overzealous interrogators wiggle room.

Now comes the predictable, and I might add “tortured”, response from conservatives. They’re cobbling together some bizarre tie between the new legislation, and everything Bill Clinton.
According to Ann Coulter, a US District Judge, John G Koeltl, who just happened to be appointed by President William J. Clinton, has somehow proven that Democrats would diminish the new law, because they’re weak on defense. Whew!

Judge Koetl, you should know, gave an attorney a 28 month jail sentence for passing information between terrorists. Never mind that none of the information led to any act of terror in the United States, according to Coulter, et al., that judge was appointed by Bill Clinton, so he’s obviously in league with those terrorists!

That’s Ann’s cover story, and she’s hilariously sticking to it. But beneath it is her pitiful support for a law that’s making people all over the country feel a bit edgy about their lack of support for the president and his antics. (about 64 percent of us at last count) Many of them may be in fear of hearing a knock on their front door with an all expenses paid trip to Guantanamo Bay for having overdue library books.

Oh Ann, you even throw in Democratic Senatorial candidate Bob Casey for good measure. What does he have to do with all of this? I get it. It’s a campaign plug for his support deficient opponent Rick Santorum. Say what you want about Bob Casey. He’s got one thing going for him, according to the latest poll data. That one thing? He’s not Rick Santorum!