1524 Barr Avenue, #2, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15205

History Articles
Humor Only
Television Archives
Contact Al

Home arrow Columns

There are 223 Ann Coulter replies, political, humor, nostalgia and tribute columns

Choose the column type BELOW

Your selections will appear BELOW

You've Chosen


 Ann Coulter Reply


 July, 2007


 Ann Coulter - Some People Just Don't Get the Jokes

Did You Hear the One About Ann Coulter?

By Al Owens
Last Saturday, when doctors sent an exploratory probe through the president’s colon, they found five benign polyps.

But they dug a little deeper and found the president’s war plans. I’d always wondered where they came from.

That was a joke. Judging from her column this week, it qualifies to suffer the kind of wacky “interpretation” that only Ann Coulter can provide.

This week, she extracted two throwaway lines from an hour and a half presidential debate - and she performed extensive research to render them serious and inaccurate.

She’d make a great fact checker at the Improv. “Why did the chicken cross the road,” a comedian might say. “That’s ridiculous,” Coulter would write. “Because The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration claims that only 0.005 percent of all chickens even come close to roads. Of those, because of the President’s Safe Chicken Task Force, only two of them (a Rhode Island Red in 2001, and a Leghorn in 2006) have been known to have completely crossed a road.”

I’m afraid that’s why conservatives aren’t very funny. They just don’t seem to get the jokes.

The YouTube debate among Democratic presidential hopefuls last Monday was a fast-paced exercise in questions posed by the general public.

I watched the entire thing. Some of the questions required serious and thoughtful answers, while others required a healthy sense of humor. One, about global warming for example, was posed by a snowman.

A student from Kansas State University also asked Barack Obama how he’d deal with the perception, by some people, that he’s not black enough.

Obama showed good wit when he responded, “When I’m catching a cab in Manhattan, in the past, I think I’m giving my credentials.”

Enter Ann Coulter. She claims he actually said, “He couldn't get a cab in New York because he's black.” That’s not what he said!

His point (albeit joking) was that some people only see him as being black. He implied that the cab drivers in New York City certainly know that.

Coulter used the opportunity to go seven paragraphs on how then New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani cleansed the city of New York of racist cab drivers. Seven paragraphs to make minced meat of a joke!

She ignored the fact that Obama threw out that line, and then he proceeded to answer the question by taking a swipe at President Puddinhead. “But let me go to the broader issue here. And that is, race permeates our society. Unfortunately we've had a White House that hasn't invested in the kinds of steps that have to be done to overcome the legacy of slavery and Jim Crow in this country,” he declared.

That obviously wasn’t a throwaway line. It drew applause. It wasn’t, however, eligible for a single Ann Coulter paragraph. Maybe she thinks THAT was a joke.

I simply can’t understand how Ann Coulter, who’s forever crying she’s just joking but unfairly misunderstood (remember that “faggot” comment about John Edwards) can’t tell when a political candidate is throwing a humorous applause line.

It’s no mystery then why she’d take Hillary Clinton to task for her throwaway line. She’d been asked about the possibility of there being either a Bush or a Clinton in the White House for 28 consecutive years if she’s elected president and then re-elected.

Senator Clinton took the opportunity to make a joke. “Well I think it is a problem that Bush was elected in 2000,” she replied. “I actually thought somebody else that was elected in that election.” That got applause and laughs.

That produced six paragraphs that dispute the Clinton joke. Coulter pulled out musty old (2001) New York Times articles that stand in stark contrast to the Clinton off-handed remark.

I think Ann Coulter got them from the same place those doctors found the president’s polyps.

But she failed to comment on the serious part of the answer Clinton gave. (And, to me, the truthful part)

“You know what's great about this is look at this stage. And look at the diversity you have here in the Democratic Party. Any one of us would be a better president than our current president, or the future Republican nominee.”

Coulter may have overlooked that tiny nugget of truth. The fact is the Republican presidential campaign is comprised of nine, ten, or eleven white males only. (I’ve lost count, because they’re beginning to look and sound alike)

THAT WAS A JOKE! Yet, the Democrats have: a female front runner, an African-American, an Hispanic, and a Martian (Dennis Kucinich) among their presidential aspirants.

People who spoke openly the other night about the issues of health care, the war in Iraq, education, racial equality and gay marriage – but whom, curiously, were only judged on the supposed falsehoods contained within their jokes!

There are serious differences between the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates. Someday in the future those differences will decide the next president.

For the time being, I guess, the Democrats will have to pass muster on the quality of their jokes.